Why am I who I am?

Discussed with my son the other day patterns passed on from parents to child. This got my wife and me thinking about what we had learned from our parents. One example: both of us have much more education than either set of parents. Our mothers finished high school; our fathers did not. Both of us have graduate degrees. We were able to recognize that education was valued in our extended families of origin.

Coming from conservative, traditional families, both of us have greatly expanded our horizons. This not only in education; in many areas of life we have been driven to explore the boundaries of orthodoxy.

So much of my life I have pushed against the accepted. Often misunderstood, I have swum upstream, against the flow of those around me. While exciting to live this way, it tends to be a lonely existence!

But I am learning to accept my cross-current path. Spirit is teaching me these days that our lives have been planned (see my book review on Your Soul’s Plan). I therefore have to assume that the way my life is unfolding is all according to previous decisions. Nothing is an accident. I am also being taught that each one of us is infinitely cared for, watched after, assisted, loved and supported along the way, no matter how rocky the trail.

What tremendous peace results when I live with that awareness. With growing confidence I can step out and walk the path with boldness, however halting my steps may be.

The image of “monk” carries with it a sense of solitude. I therefore responded positively when offered the gift of this website name. It resonated with me. It felt right. It helps define who I am. Quiet, alone, slightly mystical, carrying out my duties, submitting to my higher power, not materialistic, seeking knowledge and wisdom. (And I like to sing!!)

So, I am who I am because this is who I chose to be before I was born. This life I chose to live is a gift to me. And I am a gift to the world and to the universe. A gift being opened slowly, one layer at a time.

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